Protect your bananas

Hold the front page! Here’s crucial news about how to protect your bananas:

Are you fed up with taking bananas to work or school only to find them bruised and squashed? Our unique, patented device allows for the safe transport and storage of individual bananas letting you enjoy perfect bananas anytime, anywhere […] The Banana Guard was specially designed to fit the vast majority of bananas. Its other features include multiple small perforations to facilitate ventilation thereby preventing premature ripening and a sturdy locking mechanism to keep the Banana Guard closed. The Banana Guard is of course dishwasher safe for easy cleaning.

Order online (in 9 different colours – I especially like the glow-in-the-dark choice) from BananaGUARD.

This news comes to you via – who else? – Straight Banana.

Incidentally, as I reported back in August, bananas are of critical importance to our legislators in the European Union, who like to look at ways to ban bananas that aren’t straight. Of course, I could be wrong with this view as indicated by Straight Banana’s excellent rebuttal which offered an entirely different and plausible view.